- her voicemail message that tricks callers into thinking she can't hear them
- her interview describing her reaction to meeting the big, strong, texan cowboy Russell for the first time
- telling Kyle that the hypnotist was a salesman
- surprising Cedric in the Turkish bath
- her depiction of Taylor's cotton candy eating as something she had only read about in books
- driving away from Cedric in the parking lot
- "Camille had two of her friends there. one was her best friend, and one was her sidekick ... i mean psychic."
Monday, January 31, 2011
new thoughts on Kyle vs. Camille
how foolish of me to fall for the false dichotomy - that either Kyle or Camille was completely correct about what was said in vegas. though i still lean more toward believing that the entire problem was a result of an overly sensitive Camille misinterpreting something Kyle said (that really wasn't laced with any kind of negative meaning), what was actually said might have been grayer than i originally thought. upon re-watching the entire argument in ny, it appeared that Kim may have been hesitant to speak because she was afraid what she had to say would have angered both parties - what if Kim worried that her version was not exactly what either person wanted to hear?
in her interview about the argument, Kim said, "i think if i had opened my mouth, there's no telling which person would take it the right or wrong way. i never heard my sister say, 'why would anyone be interested in you without Kelsey?'"
so the million dollar question is, Kim, what did you hear? and Andy, why didn't you ask Kim what she heard? Kim later tells Kyle, "but you did say, 'so he's not going,' and she misinterpreted it." but the sidekick wants to know exactly what Kim heard of the whole conversation.
other interesting things i either forgot or didn't pay much attention to the first time i watched the ny fight episode:
it is painfully obvious that Taylor was spreading malicious gossip about the other women to Camille. Camille was very passive aggressively asking other women what they said about her: "so nobody in this room ever said anything about me being insecure?" "how was the plane ride?" etc.
(in fairness to Camille, yes, it must be incredibly upsetting to think that a group of people are all talking about you behind your back ... especially if someone has led you to believe that the group was attacking you in your absence ... but from the footage that was actually aired, it did not seem like they were trying to attack her ... it seemed like they were trying to understand the situation and reach a plan for its resolution ... it's not Camille's fault that she did not know that - all Camille knew was Taylor's (highly motivated and opportunistic?) version of what had happened. the version in which only Taylor stayed out of the conversation, no doubt. but even if you feel hurt or threatened, there are still ways of resolving conflict that don't involve passive aggression (which, incidentally, doesn't resolve anything)).
so .... anyway ... we find out Lisa and Taylor were talking about Camille on the plane (Camille asks how the plane ride was? Lisa answers it was fine and that she sat with Taylor - Lisa is a smart cookie - she knows exactly what is going on here). but is this plane conversation yet another reason Taylor wanted to have a secret, private conversation with Camille? what else did Taylor need to cover up?
Kim freely volunteered she had made a comment about insecurity because Taylor had said Camille felt insignificant. and then you could see Taylor's eyes suddenly turn red as her inner demon surfaced and she started threatening Kim to leave her out of everything. wait a minute, Taylor, weren't you the one who was telling everyone how you thought Camille felt? and weren't you the one who went out of your way to explain that it was only your opinion that Camille felt insignificant? there's no reason to think Kim had said anything about Camille's insecurities until Taylor brought them up. and it sure didn't look like Kyle had said anything about them either until that same point - because at that point, Kyle appeared to be feeling a bit of relief as though the whole situation made sense in light of Taylor's opinion. is it possible that on the plane, Lisa had expressed to Taylor that she thought Camille had some insecurities. sure, it's possible. but Lisa seems like one who chooses words carefully to suit the company she keeps. sidekick powers are telling me she wouldn't have let her guard down unscrupulously with Taylor. it sounded more like maybe Lisa just recounted what happened, without much commentary. Taylor seemed happy to tell the others she had deduced Camille's insecurity all on her own. but then she told Camille that Lisa had prompted her (Taylor) to say that Camille was insecure on the plane.
everyone was confused. and they were confused legitimately. why? because no one was prompting Taylor to say Camille was insecure. but that is what Taylor told Camille. in everyone else's experience, Taylor had been freely commenting that it was her own personal opinion that Camille felt insignificant.
also, Kim got another little quip in that i missed the first go round. when Taylor is trying to save face and trying not to be held accountable for the fact that she did say she thought Camille felt insignificant, Taylor asserted that she had no knowledge of the fight between Kyle and Camille. to which Kim replied, "careful Taylor." Kim, tell us what you know! so after Kim warned Taylor to be careful (thus insinuating that Kim knew Taylor was lying about something - presumably, lying about not knowing what happened between Kyle and Camille), all of a sudden Taylor threatened to pull some Oklahoma on Kim's ass. wow, Kim, you struck a major nerve. apparently, Taylor doesn't like it when people call her on her lies. but Kim, for the love of reality television in all its gory, don't give Taylor warnings! just blurt out what you know! will someone please pay this woman for a reveal-all? for now, the sidekick will work with the theory that Taylor had already talked to Camille about the fight in NY and Taylor had told Kim about this (perhaps right before Kim says in the airport, "well, i was there ..."). perhaps Camille told Taylor she felt invisible ... and perhaps Camille thought Kyle told her not to be insecure because Taylor broke a confidence. so Taylor had to cover her butt ... and did so by claiming that others kept prodding her for information (and probably insisting she didn't say anything). how does Taylor keep all her lies straight?
in her interview about the argument, Kim said, "i think if i had opened my mouth, there's no telling which person would take it the right or wrong way. i never heard my sister say, 'why would anyone be interested in you without Kelsey?'"
so the million dollar question is, Kim, what did you hear? and Andy, why didn't you ask Kim what she heard? Kim later tells Kyle, "but you did say, 'so he's not going,' and she misinterpreted it." but the sidekick wants to know exactly what Kim heard of the whole conversation.
other interesting things i either forgot or didn't pay much attention to the first time i watched the ny fight episode:
it is painfully obvious that Taylor was spreading malicious gossip about the other women to Camille. Camille was very passive aggressively asking other women what they said about her: "so nobody in this room ever said anything about me being insecure?" "how was the plane ride?" etc.
(in fairness to Camille, yes, it must be incredibly upsetting to think that a group of people are all talking about you behind your back ... especially if someone has led you to believe that the group was attacking you in your absence ... but from the footage that was actually aired, it did not seem like they were trying to attack her ... it seemed like they were trying to understand the situation and reach a plan for its resolution ... it's not Camille's fault that she did not know that - all Camille knew was Taylor's (highly motivated and opportunistic?) version of what had happened. the version in which only Taylor stayed out of the conversation, no doubt. but even if you feel hurt or threatened, there are still ways of resolving conflict that don't involve passive aggression (which, incidentally, doesn't resolve anything)).
so .... anyway ... we find out Lisa and Taylor were talking about Camille on the plane (Camille asks how the plane ride was? Lisa answers it was fine and that she sat with Taylor - Lisa is a smart cookie - she knows exactly what is going on here). but is this plane conversation yet another reason Taylor wanted to have a secret, private conversation with Camille? what else did Taylor need to cover up?
Kim freely volunteered she had made a comment about insecurity because Taylor had said Camille felt insignificant. and then you could see Taylor's eyes suddenly turn red as her inner demon surfaced and she started threatening Kim to leave her out of everything. wait a minute, Taylor, weren't you the one who was telling everyone how you thought Camille felt? and weren't you the one who went out of your way to explain that it was only your opinion that Camille felt insignificant? there's no reason to think Kim had said anything about Camille's insecurities until Taylor brought them up. and it sure didn't look like Kyle had said anything about them either until that same point - because at that point, Kyle appeared to be feeling a bit of relief as though the whole situation made sense in light of Taylor's opinion. is it possible that on the plane, Lisa had expressed to Taylor that she thought Camille had some insecurities. sure, it's possible. but Lisa seems like one who chooses words carefully to suit the company she keeps. sidekick powers are telling me she wouldn't have let her guard down unscrupulously with Taylor. it sounded more like maybe Lisa just recounted what happened, without much commentary. Taylor seemed happy to tell the others she had deduced Camille's insecurity all on her own. but then she told Camille that Lisa had prompted her (Taylor) to say that Camille was insecure on the plane.
everyone was confused. and they were confused legitimately. why? because no one was prompting Taylor to say Camille was insecure. but that is what Taylor told Camille. in everyone else's experience, Taylor had been freely commenting that it was her own personal opinion that Camille felt insignificant.
also, Kim got another little quip in that i missed the first go round. when Taylor is trying to save face and trying not to be held accountable for the fact that she did say she thought Camille felt insignificant, Taylor asserted that she had no knowledge of the fight between Kyle and Camille. to which Kim replied, "careful Taylor." Kim, tell us what you know! so after Kim warned Taylor to be careful (thus insinuating that Kim knew Taylor was lying about something - presumably, lying about not knowing what happened between Kyle and Camille), all of a sudden Taylor threatened to pull some Oklahoma on Kim's ass. wow, Kim, you struck a major nerve. apparently, Taylor doesn't like it when people call her on her lies. but Kim, for the love of reality television in all its gory, don't give Taylor warnings! just blurt out what you know! will someone please pay this woman for a reveal-all? for now, the sidekick will work with the theory that Taylor had already talked to Camille about the fight in NY and Taylor had told Kim about this (perhaps right before Kim says in the airport, "well, i was there ..."). perhaps Camille told Taylor she felt invisible ... and perhaps Camille thought Kyle told her not to be insecure because Taylor broke a confidence. so Taylor had to cover her butt ... and did so by claiming that others kept prodding her for information (and probably insisting she didn't say anything). how does Taylor keep all her lies straight?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
how to behave and why
in a moment of faux good natured humor (read: in yet another incidence of cattiness), Camille showed up to Kyle's party and gave Kyle a book called how to behave and why, a book originally published in the 40's to instruct children on good behavior. it was complete with stick figure illustrations.
the front flap reads:
"No matter where or who you are,
there are four main things you have to do if
you want to make good friends and keep them.
You have to be HONEST
You have to be STRONG
You have to be FAIR
and you have to be WISE.
And there is no good trying to fool yourself.
All that isn't so easy."
i noticed that Camille's rules of etiquette did not include an imperative that you have to appreciate irony. also missing: an imperative that if you want to make good friends and keep them, you need to add them to your payroll.
the front flap reads:
"No matter where or who you are,
there are four main things you have to do if
you want to make good friends and keep them.
You have to be HONEST
You have to be STRONG
You have to be FAIR
and you have to be WISE.
And there is no good trying to fool yourself.
All that isn't so easy."
i noticed that Camille's rules of etiquette did not include an imperative that you have to appreciate irony. also missing: an imperative that if you want to make good friends and keep them, you need to add them to your payroll.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
the b word
*i accidentally pasted the link to this post on a comment at reality tea. i'm sorry about that - i actually meant to post the link to the video in that comment. so if that is what you are trying to find, it is actually here:
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/season-1/videos/marriage-problems
sorry about that!*
bullying is an all too real problem. but calling someone a bully for simply defending him/herself (particularly when you are knowingly spouting lies about them) is inappropriate and dismisses the experience of people who are actually being bullied. way to go, Camille. Kyle was calling you on the fact that your story has, verifiably, changed so often that all of the stories couldn't possibly be true. given your offense, she was even challenging you relatively calmly. but rather than stick to an issue, you struck below the belt again and dropped the b-word. sidekick is getting a vision ... yes, Kyle was right ... someone did advise you to drop the word ... it was ... it was ... someone you pay ...
but now that you have dropped the b-word, let's think about which cast member actually behaved like one during the reunion. and the winner of the bully award goes to ........... Taylor! for her disgusting role in tormenting Kim. congratulations, Taylor, you should really be proud.
during the reunion, Lisa brought up Taylor instigating trouble in NYC. to be fair, Camille is just as much at fault as Taylor was - after all, Camille was only pretending to have made up (a catty thing to do, Camille). so the blame falls on both of them - Camille used a cowardly way of dealing with her anger (and, do we need to point out again, her anger was misdirected - it is fine that she felt extra sensitive because she had good reasons to feel that way - but she needs to point her finger Kelsey's and others' way, not Kyle's) and Taylor selfishly used the opportunity to promote herself while stepping on others (by gossiping with Camille and pretending to be on Camille's "side" - silly Camille, Taylor is only on her own side). and for some reason(s), Taylor just didn't like Kim, so Kim bore the brunt of it.
http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/season-1/videos/marriage-problems
sorry about that!*
bullying is an all too real problem. but calling someone a bully for simply defending him/herself (particularly when you are knowingly spouting lies about them) is inappropriate and dismisses the experience of people who are actually being bullied. way to go, Camille. Kyle was calling you on the fact that your story has, verifiably, changed so often that all of the stories couldn't possibly be true. given your offense, she was even challenging you relatively calmly. but rather than stick to an issue, you struck below the belt again and dropped the b-word. sidekick is getting a vision ... yes, Kyle was right ... someone did advise you to drop the word ... it was ... it was ... someone you pay ...
but now that you have dropped the b-word, let's think about which cast member actually behaved like one during the reunion. and the winner of the bully award goes to ........... Taylor! for her disgusting role in tormenting Kim. congratulations, Taylor, you should really be proud.
during the reunion, Lisa brought up Taylor instigating trouble in NYC. to be fair, Camille is just as much at fault as Taylor was - after all, Camille was only pretending to have made up (a catty thing to do, Camille). so the blame falls on both of them - Camille used a cowardly way of dealing with her anger (and, do we need to point out again, her anger was misdirected - it is fine that she felt extra sensitive because she had good reasons to feel that way - but she needs to point her finger Kelsey's and others' way, not Kyle's) and Taylor selfishly used the opportunity to promote herself while stepping on others (by gossiping with Camille and pretending to be on Camille's "side" - silly Camille, Taylor is only on her own side). and for some reason(s), Taylor just didn't like Kim, so Kim bore the brunt of it.
Friday, January 28, 2011
uncanny
how did we miss the signs that the marriage between Camille and Kelsey Grammer was star-crossed from the start? (then again, it could have been that no one really cared about this particular "big shot")
in defense of Kim
Kim comes across as so tragically vulnerable that it is easy to overlook the fact that what she is saying in the midst of conflict is really quite true and accurate. Kim is obviously flustered in the midst of conflict, and perhaps she lacks the desire and/or confidence to really hammer away at her adversaries, even when what she is saying is true ... so her contributions to understanding what went on during the conflicts have been grossly neglected.
so what happened in vegas? and how did the fight with Taylor Armstrong fit in? the sidekick must do a little detective work ... there are definitely some spaces to fill in because either Kim did not fill in all the blanks, or the more extended edition was edited out.
first, let's start with the initial fight between Kyle and Camille. Kim was present, and Kim knew that Kyle did not ask Camille why anyone would be interested in her without her "big shot" husband. (*this was what i originally wrote and i'm not deleting it because that is cheating ... but see newer entries for revisions)
next, let's explore what happened at the airport. Kim, Taylor, Kyle, & Kim were walking through the airport.
Kim: so where's Camille?
Taylor: she's in new york already.
Kyle: what do you mean she's in new york already?
Kim: it's not because of the situation with Kyle -
Kyle: i'm confused ... it's not because of me, come on.
Kim: it's because of you.
Lisa: you're being ridiculous. i think she went to spend time with Kelsey.
Taylor: yes she's missing her hubby.
while Kim said: no, she didn't want to fly with -
Lisa: these bloody shoes are killing me.
Kyle: here we are, 37b.
so what happened in vegas? and how did the fight with Taylor Armstrong fit in? the sidekick must do a little detective work ... there are definitely some spaces to fill in because either Kim did not fill in all the blanks, or the more extended edition was edited out.
first, let's start with the initial fight between Kyle and Camille. Kim was present, and Kim knew that Kyle did not ask Camille why anyone would be interested in her without her "big shot" husband. (*this was what i originally wrote and i'm not deleting it because that is cheating ... but see newer entries for revisions)
next, let's explore what happened at the airport. Kim, Taylor, Kyle, & Kim were walking through the airport.
Kim: so where's Camille?
Taylor: she's in new york already.
Kyle: what do you mean she's in new york already?
Kim: it's not because of the situation with Kyle -
Kyle: i'm confused ... it's not because of me, come on.
Kim: it's because of you.
Lisa: you're being ridiculous. i think she went to spend time with Kelsey.
Taylor: yes she's missing her hubby.
while Kim said: no, she didn't want to fly with -
Lisa: these bloody shoes are killing me.
Kyle: here we are, 37b.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
RHOBH Reunion anticipation
with part 1 of the reunion of the real housewives of beverly hills rapidly approaching, one can't help but wonder what excitement is in store for us tonight?
the preview promises to delve into:
name calling and adjective hurling and you can just guess which words belong to which housewives: conniving, passive aggressive, narcissistic, bully, egotistical, vindictive, vile, liar, violent, delusional (see earlier post below)
Kelsey Grammer's inability to keep his snake in his trousers
Adrienne Maloof's marriage
Camille's allegations that the season was set up to vilify her
exchanges of threats between Kim Richards and Taylor Armstrong
questions of whether Taylor is a hypocrite for threatening violence while speaking out against it
Cedric's tantrum toward Lisa VanderPump
whether Kim has a drinking problem
Camille's life in the adult film industry (with a dash of pot calling the kettle black with regard to Camille's derogation of Faye Resnick)
for a season cast with so many strong, potentially kind, potentially supportive women, who could have potentially learned so much from each other, something went terribly wrong ... and sidekick powers tell me some issues only get wronger and wronger as the reunion plays itself out ...
the preview promises to delve into:
name calling and adjective hurling and you can just guess which words belong to which housewives: conniving, passive aggressive, narcissistic, bully, egotistical, vindictive, vile, liar, violent, delusional (see earlier post below)
Kelsey Grammer's inability to keep his snake in his trousers
Adrienne Maloof's marriage
Camille's allegations that the season was set up to vilify her
exchanges of threats between Kim Richards and Taylor Armstrong
questions of whether Taylor is a hypocrite for threatening violence while speaking out against it
Cedric's tantrum toward Lisa VanderPump
whether Kim has a drinking problem
Camille's life in the adult film industry (with a dash of pot calling the kettle black with regard to Camille's derogation of Faye Resnick)
for a season cast with so many strong, potentially kind, potentially supportive women, who could have potentially learned so much from each other, something went terribly wrong ... and sidekick powers tell me some issues only get wronger and wronger as the reunion plays itself out ...
is Camille delusional?
Camille doesn't like that America thinks she is delusional because Kyle said she was.
Kyle asserts that Camille is perceived to be delusional because she (Camille) says things that aren't true.
so ... first ... is Camille delusional?
short answer: no. at some point in their lives, everyone has an issue (or few) that they are very sensitive about. when they are very sensitive about said issues, they tend to read a little more into related ambiguous events than was really there. that doesn't make someone delusional. it just means that they made a normal, understandable error in processing information. Camille made an error in processing what Kyle said to her. but Camille wasn't delusional - this is just the way the brain works. when it only gets little bits of information, it fills the rest of the story in with whatever else it knows. she just made a mistake. the trouble is that the mistake caused such intense negative emotion for Camille, and Camille was unable to listen to others' perspectives afterward or to communicate in an open, honest way that could have led to resolution. Camille felt attacked, and, therefore, assumed that someone must be attacking her ... rather than she felt attacked because she inferred an attacking meaning from an ambiguous comment. but this doesn't make someone delusional - it just makes them human.
second ... does Camille say things that aren't true?
short answer: yes. Camille said that Kyle said something that she did not actually say (this may not have been a lie on Camille's part: this may have been an honest mistake). however, there are other instances when Camille has insinuated very nasty things about others that she knew were untrue or had good reason not to think were true. she deliberately led people to believe Kyle's husband was unfaithful. she also deliberately led people to believe Kelsey was a cross-dresser. she smiled smugly and giggled when making these nasty insinuations. this doesn't make Camille delusional. it makes her behavior catty and unconscionable. Camille fails to grasp the fact that just because she personally feels wounded, she is not entitled to attack others any way she sees fit. if she feels wounded, she is entitled to respectfully, honestly, and openly discuss her feelings with the person by whom she feels wounded. or she is entitled to cut off the relationship. but her dishonest statements hit well below the belt. to her credit, when Camille was not caught up in her own intense negative emotion, she did realize how unfair she had been ... and she tried to take back the dishonest comments she had made.
psychic powers say: Camille is not delusional, but she has a lot of work to do in order to have an authentic relationship with herself and others.
Kyle asserts that Camille is perceived to be delusional because she (Camille) says things that aren't true.
so ... first ... is Camille delusional?
short answer: no. at some point in their lives, everyone has an issue (or few) that they are very sensitive about. when they are very sensitive about said issues, they tend to read a little more into related ambiguous events than was really there. that doesn't make someone delusional. it just means that they made a normal, understandable error in processing information. Camille made an error in processing what Kyle said to her. but Camille wasn't delusional - this is just the way the brain works. when it only gets little bits of information, it fills the rest of the story in with whatever else it knows. she just made a mistake. the trouble is that the mistake caused such intense negative emotion for Camille, and Camille was unable to listen to others' perspectives afterward or to communicate in an open, honest way that could have led to resolution. Camille felt attacked, and, therefore, assumed that someone must be attacking her ... rather than she felt attacked because she inferred an attacking meaning from an ambiguous comment. but this doesn't make someone delusional - it just makes them human.
second ... does Camille say things that aren't true?
short answer: yes. Camille said that Kyle said something that she did not actually say (this may not have been a lie on Camille's part: this may have been an honest mistake). however, there are other instances when Camille has insinuated very nasty things about others that she knew were untrue or had good reason not to think were true. she deliberately led people to believe Kyle's husband was unfaithful. she also deliberately led people to believe Kelsey was a cross-dresser. she smiled smugly and giggled when making these nasty insinuations. this doesn't make Camille delusional. it makes her behavior catty and unconscionable. Camille fails to grasp the fact that just because she personally feels wounded, she is not entitled to attack others any way she sees fit. if she feels wounded, she is entitled to respectfully, honestly, and openly discuss her feelings with the person by whom she feels wounded. or she is entitled to cut off the relationship. but her dishonest statements hit well below the belt. to her credit, when Camille was not caught up in her own intense negative emotion, she did realize how unfair she had been ... and she tried to take back the dishonest comments she had made.
psychic powers say: Camille is not delusional, but she has a lot of work to do in order to have an authentic relationship with herself and others.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Camille Grammer's Sidekick
what really happened at Camille's dinner party?
Camille, Camille, Camille, what was with your "psychic"? your medium was obviously faking her gifts one way or the other: she could have truly had gifts but got everything wrong at the party because you conspired with her ahead of time and she got her lies mixed up ... or she had not gifts at all and got everything wrong at the party because you conspired with her ahead of time and she got her lies mixed up. either way, what a failure of a production.
here's what my psychic abilities tell me happened:
Camille wanted to prove to the other ladies and to America that she was sweet and innocent and really had been attacked by her perceived bully, Kyle. but what a dilemma - the cameras didn't catch the real conversation. it is she said, she said. so, to whom could Camille appeal to provide the definitive evidence that she was right and Kyle was wrong? Camille decided to appeal to a "psychic." enter self-important drunken train wreck with a cigarette. now, Camille had a plan. she would invite the ladies over for a dinner party. the medium would be present, and she banked on the fact that the other ladies would find the medium to be an interesting topic of conversation. she hoped the ladies would be interested and want to hear something about themselves. Camille carefully instructed the medium to wait until Kyle asked before providing scathing information to Kyle. there was a slight hiccup with the plan - Camille did not want responsibility for inviting a rude guest. so how could she maintain an image as a sweet hostess while at the same time allowing one guest to attack another? it would have to seem as though the medium were not completely in control of herself. how to make someone not fully responsible for their own behavior? lots and lots of alcohol!
Camille wanted to make sure it didn't seem too contrived (or rather, wanted to make sure the situation did not seem as contrived as it truly was), so she had to take a few precautions. she pretended that the medium was there as a guest, not an employee (the phrase "not on the clock" was tossed around far too often to have been unrehearsed and natural). this way, if the medium ended up using her "gifts," it would not be Camille's fault ... and any bullying information coming from the use of the medium's "gifts" would, likewise, not be Camille's fault. Camille would pretend that she never intended for the medium to user her "gfits." she even rehearsed a story to tell about the dinner party after it happened: with a very poor and unconvincing delivery, Camille insisted that Kyle "begged" for the reading. it was not true, of course, because Kyle's actual words were "what does that mean?" when the sidekick said, "don't tempt me." the medium was attempting to bait the others (Kyle specifically) into asking for a reading ... and she was waiting for Kyle to chip in before she went ahead with one. it was not Kyle who originally asked for a reading. Kyle was set up. even after the medium attempted to bait Kyle into asking, Kyle asked whether the medium couldn't say something that was not nasty. but silly Kyle, of course not. the whole reason the medium was there was to attack you.
Camille also went out of her way to make sure her guests knew ahead of time that the medium had problems controlling herself when she drank (and pretended to hope that the medium wouldn't get out of control when, truly, she was planning for the medium to act out of control -if you have any doubts, watch the clip in which the medium indulges a freakish, nonsensical monologue about being bad in a controlled setting rather than being good because they aren't supposed to be good). then, Camille served especially large and strong drinks. if a sweet, caring hostess were truly concerned that a guest had behavioral problems when drinking, why would she go out of her way to overly intoxicate her guests? the answer is, of course, that the whole situation was a set-up and Camille was actually (poorly) attempting to convince everyone around her that the events that would transpire were simply due to unanticipated factors: Camille could pretend she was just as shocked as everyone else that the medium had said nasty things about Kyle. then Camille could reason ("in retrospect" of course) that Kyle had begged for the reading, the medium had imbibed too much, and everything had gotten out of hand. and then, Camille had hoped, she would also get to point out that the medium said the same things about Kyle that she (Camille) had said. then - BAM! - nailed. Camille could win this fight once and for all. the psychic would settle it. the psychic would tell everyone that Camille was good and Kyle was bad. it was a perfect plan in Camille's head.
but Camille really should not be producing. her production was a complete flop. her lead actress messed up her talking points. the medium was supposed to tell everyone that Camille had trouble with other women because women were jealous of and catty with her ... but Camille's other sidekick had to pick up the pieces and fill in the story there when the medium got mixed up and instead declared that Kyle was the one who was more comfortable around men ... it was kind of pathetic to see Camille making desperate pleas to the inept actress (the medium): no, that's me! i'm the one who is more comfortable around men! look at me! validate me! you are messing everything up! i'm the one women are catty with! Camille was also up for the worst actress award: she smiled in a smug, self-satisfied, and indulgent manner when the medium went overboard before quickly pretending to disapprove. she also made nasty, baseless remarks about Kyle's husband after the party and pretended that she was being sweet and fair. this is called projection, Camille. the fact that your own husband is a self-important jerk who has no respect for women and preys on insecure women with no self-respect before dumping them for more insecure women with no self-respect does not mean that Kyle's marriage was in trouble. and no one's marital problems are funny ... unless you are a nasty, catty person who takes pleasure in the suffering of other women because it gives you a false and fleeting sense of security and superiority. but Camille, weren't you trying to convince everyone that other women are catty with you? the way to do that is not to bare your cattiness to others. my psychic powers strongly suggest that you confront the reasons that you have been forced into a position in which you think your only outlet for your negative emotions is to be catty (and to misdirect your legitimate negative emotions toward people who don't deserve them and away from the people who do). until you do this, i predict that you will always be lonely and miserable and desperately clinging to superficial means of validating yourself. and finally - when you know that you have gone to considerable trouble to set someone else up, and you proceed to accuse Kyle of turning the dinner into a set up, this is also called projection. unless, of course, you were aware of what you were doing and you were frustrated that your set up was failing and you, nonetheless, wanted to make Kyle look like the bad guy and thought that accusing her of setting you up would make her look bad and you look good ... because in that situation, it is called being catty. either way, the truth was that Kyle was surprised and pleased to get your invitation, went out of her way to change her plans because she thought that you two were putting the past misunderstanding behind you, and entered your set up innocently and with good intentions. and you used her to promote your own image (kind of like how some "important" men use the women they are with to promote their own images). that is what a bully does, Camille. my psychic powers indicate that you are a sensitive person and that, when you are not upset, you do not want to be a bully. at the same time, my psychic powers are also telling me that you forget to feel compassion when you yourself are feeling wounded. it is time for you to address these issues. if you want to heal yourself, you are going to need some healing relationships.
okay ... and finally ... were there any doubt that the whole dinner party was a flopped production, just look at how Camille makes the "cut" motion to the Allison DuBois to try to get her to stop. the danger of directing and starring in your own production is that sometimes that can let the whole production become overly self-indulgent.
Camille, Camille, Camille, what was with your "psychic"? your medium was obviously faking her gifts one way or the other: she could have truly had gifts but got everything wrong at the party because you conspired with her ahead of time and she got her lies mixed up ... or she had not gifts at all and got everything wrong at the party because you conspired with her ahead of time and she got her lies mixed up. either way, what a failure of a production.
here's what my psychic abilities tell me happened:
Camille wanted to prove to the other ladies and to America that she was sweet and innocent and really had been attacked by her perceived bully, Kyle. but what a dilemma - the cameras didn't catch the real conversation. it is she said, she said. so, to whom could Camille appeal to provide the definitive evidence that she was right and Kyle was wrong? Camille decided to appeal to a "psychic." enter self-important drunken train wreck with a cigarette. now, Camille had a plan. she would invite the ladies over for a dinner party. the medium would be present, and she banked on the fact that the other ladies would find the medium to be an interesting topic of conversation. she hoped the ladies would be interested and want to hear something about themselves. Camille carefully instructed the medium to wait until Kyle asked before providing scathing information to Kyle. there was a slight hiccup with the plan - Camille did not want responsibility for inviting a rude guest. so how could she maintain an image as a sweet hostess while at the same time allowing one guest to attack another? it would have to seem as though the medium were not completely in control of herself. how to make someone not fully responsible for their own behavior? lots and lots of alcohol!
Camille wanted to make sure it didn't seem too contrived (or rather, wanted to make sure the situation did not seem as contrived as it truly was), so she had to take a few precautions. she pretended that the medium was there as a guest, not an employee (the phrase "not on the clock" was tossed around far too often to have been unrehearsed and natural). this way, if the medium ended up using her "gifts," it would not be Camille's fault ... and any bullying information coming from the use of the medium's "gifts" would, likewise, not be Camille's fault. Camille would pretend that she never intended for the medium to user her "gfits." she even rehearsed a story to tell about the dinner party after it happened: with a very poor and unconvincing delivery, Camille insisted that Kyle "begged" for the reading. it was not true, of course, because Kyle's actual words were "what does that mean?" when the sidekick said, "don't tempt me." the medium was attempting to bait the others (Kyle specifically) into asking for a reading ... and she was waiting for Kyle to chip in before she went ahead with one. it was not Kyle who originally asked for a reading. Kyle was set up. even after the medium attempted to bait Kyle into asking, Kyle asked whether the medium couldn't say something that was not nasty. but silly Kyle, of course not. the whole reason the medium was there was to attack you.
Camille also went out of her way to make sure her guests knew ahead of time that the medium had problems controlling herself when she drank (and pretended to hope that the medium wouldn't get out of control when, truly, she was planning for the medium to act out of control -if you have any doubts, watch the clip in which the medium indulges a freakish, nonsensical monologue about being bad in a controlled setting rather than being good because they aren't supposed to be good). then, Camille served especially large and strong drinks. if a sweet, caring hostess were truly concerned that a guest had behavioral problems when drinking, why would she go out of her way to overly intoxicate her guests? the answer is, of course, that the whole situation was a set-up and Camille was actually (poorly) attempting to convince everyone around her that the events that would transpire were simply due to unanticipated factors: Camille could pretend she was just as shocked as everyone else that the medium had said nasty things about Kyle. then Camille could reason ("in retrospect" of course) that Kyle had begged for the reading, the medium had imbibed too much, and everything had gotten out of hand. and then, Camille had hoped, she would also get to point out that the medium said the same things about Kyle that she (Camille) had said. then - BAM! - nailed. Camille could win this fight once and for all. the psychic would settle it. the psychic would tell everyone that Camille was good and Kyle was bad. it was a perfect plan in Camille's head.
but Camille really should not be producing. her production was a complete flop. her lead actress messed up her talking points. the medium was supposed to tell everyone that Camille had trouble with other women because women were jealous of and catty with her ... but Camille's other sidekick had to pick up the pieces and fill in the story there when the medium got mixed up and instead declared that Kyle was the one who was more comfortable around men ... it was kind of pathetic to see Camille making desperate pleas to the inept actress (the medium): no, that's me! i'm the one who is more comfortable around men! look at me! validate me! you are messing everything up! i'm the one women are catty with! Camille was also up for the worst actress award: she smiled in a smug, self-satisfied, and indulgent manner when the medium went overboard before quickly pretending to disapprove. she also made nasty, baseless remarks about Kyle's husband after the party and pretended that she was being sweet and fair. this is called projection, Camille. the fact that your own husband is a self-important jerk who has no respect for women and preys on insecure women with no self-respect before dumping them for more insecure women with no self-respect does not mean that Kyle's marriage was in trouble. and no one's marital problems are funny ... unless you are a nasty, catty person who takes pleasure in the suffering of other women because it gives you a false and fleeting sense of security and superiority. but Camille, weren't you trying to convince everyone that other women are catty with you? the way to do that is not to bare your cattiness to others. my psychic powers strongly suggest that you confront the reasons that you have been forced into a position in which you think your only outlet for your negative emotions is to be catty (and to misdirect your legitimate negative emotions toward people who don't deserve them and away from the people who do). until you do this, i predict that you will always be lonely and miserable and desperately clinging to superficial means of validating yourself. and finally - when you know that you have gone to considerable trouble to set someone else up, and you proceed to accuse Kyle of turning the dinner into a set up, this is also called projection. unless, of course, you were aware of what you were doing and you were frustrated that your set up was failing and you, nonetheless, wanted to make Kyle look like the bad guy and thought that accusing her of setting you up would make her look bad and you look good ... because in that situation, it is called being catty. either way, the truth was that Kyle was surprised and pleased to get your invitation, went out of her way to change her plans because she thought that you two were putting the past misunderstanding behind you, and entered your set up innocently and with good intentions. and you used her to promote your own image (kind of like how some "important" men use the women they are with to promote their own images). that is what a bully does, Camille. my psychic powers indicate that you are a sensitive person and that, when you are not upset, you do not want to be a bully. at the same time, my psychic powers are also telling me that you forget to feel compassion when you yourself are feeling wounded. it is time for you to address these issues. if you want to heal yourself, you are going to need some healing relationships.
okay ... and finally ... were there any doubt that the whole dinner party was a flopped production, just look at how Camille makes the "cut" motion to the Allison DuBois to try to get her to stop. the danger of directing and starring in your own production is that sometimes that can let the whole production become overly self-indulgent.
Kyle versus Camille, part 2
why the fight was not Kyle's fault
although everyone has issues that might make them feel insecure from time to time, whatever insecurities Kyle might have are not the same insecurities that Camille had developed with regard to her relationship to her husband. as described in part 1, Camille (most likely legitimately) developed some major hangups with regard to Kelsey. Camille likely sensed that things were going downhill in her marriage, and she feared what that would mean in all domains of her life. if Camille was extra sensitive to what the dissolution of her marriage would mean for her own career on the RHOBH, this was not an insecurity that Kyle shared. because Kyle has built for herself a life that includes a healthy, rewarding relationship with her husband (in which Kyle is not afraid to communicate honestly and directly) and because Kyle likely had little awareness of what Camille's situation was, Kyle had no reason to think that her words would be so misconstrued. psychic powers tell me that if Kyle had known what Camille was going through, she would not have asked whether Kelsey was going to Hawaii. but Kyle did not know, and the fact that she did not know was not her fault.
Kyle was asking very straightforward questions because (unless she is trying to be considerate of others and holding her tongue for their sake) Kyle is an open, honest person who is not overly concerned with acting any particular part (we can revisit this issue with regard to Kyle vs. Kim ... but my psychic powers tell me that revelation of information was a result of extenuating circumstances and that, in general, Kyle does her very best to use discretion). if Kyle were confused, she would ask clarifying questions (and to Kyle - someone who values family above all else and spending quality time with family, Camille's plans would have seemed confusing). if Kyle were interested in something, she would ask to find out more about it. there was nothing wrong with her asking about Camille's plans. the trouble is that Camille's plans were entrenched in meaning that Kyle had no way of knowing. Kyle had no way of knowing that whether Kelsey was going on the vacation was a sore issue for Camille (and part of the reason Kyle would not know that was that Camille was pretending that everything was fine ... because that is what a "good girl" would do (in her mind)). Kyle also had no way of knowing that Camille worried that if she were not married to Kelsey, she would lose her place on the show. no one could know this because Camille tried very hard to prevent them from knowing what her true fears were.
Kyle's only "fault" was that she did not realize that Camille was pretending to have resolved the issue in order to escape the confrontation that was making her uncomfortable. when Kyle told her not to be insecure, Kyle's intentions were to build Camille up - to empower Camille by explaining that she (Kyle) did not think that Camille's worth was only in Kelsey. Camille was worried that others shared her own fear (that her worth was only in her husband), but Kyle was attempting to explain that Camille did not need to have that fear because she (Kyle) did not even think it was true. unfortunately, the fear was so strong for Camille (and the idea of having worth outside of her appearance and her worth to ("important") men was so foreign to her) that Camille could not really comprehend what Kyle was saying. it is too bad that the sensitivities that Camille had developed (for very real reasons - there are very good reasons that Camille has learned that her worth is tied to her appearance and her appeal to "important" men) got in the way of an authentic relationship with Kyle. Kyle is the type of person who could have been very supportive to Camille if Camille had been in a place to receive it. at the time, though, Camille was likely just barely keeping her head above the water - she had not reached a place where she could be completely open and real. but if Camille had learned through her life and through interactions with others that she could trust people, she would not have developed the fears in the first place. instead, Camille learned to view women as competition and learned not to trust others and that she did not inherently have worth ... and it will only be through trusted relationships in which people value Camille for more than just her appearance that she can unlearn the damaging lessons her earlier life had taught her. if Kyle cannot be one of the people who helps Camille learn about authentic relationships, here's hoping someone else will instead ... and hoping Camille will allow herself to be real enough to benefit from it rather than feeling like she has to protect herself and keep acting a part (a part that is the result of unfair demands that have been placed on her throughout her life).
now ... about Kelsey being "important" ... sure, he's been successful and made lots of money ... bully for him. that doesn't give him any more worth than anyone else. and if it weren't for RHOBH, very few people would actually care about him either. Camille, Kyle really did not want you to feel insecure - she was not attacking you or bullying you by calling you insecure as an insult. she was realizing that you felt badly about something that she didn't think you needed to feel badly about. and she didn't want you to feel that way. she did not realize that telling you not to feel insecure would come across as an insult as opposed to her intended meaning. feeling insecure is not something that makes you worthless - it makes you human. and if you can be honest about your insecurities (and your feelings in general), you'll be on a path to developing a sense of security that does not depend on fluctuations in everything around you. if you cannot develop an authentic and honest discussion with yourself (and close others), you will never have a chance to actually put the things that are truly hurting you to bed. it's a better life on the other side ... it takes work to get there ... but it is worth it ...
although everyone has issues that might make them feel insecure from time to time, whatever insecurities Kyle might have are not the same insecurities that Camille had developed with regard to her relationship to her husband. as described in part 1, Camille (most likely legitimately) developed some major hangups with regard to Kelsey. Camille likely sensed that things were going downhill in her marriage, and she feared what that would mean in all domains of her life. if Camille was extra sensitive to what the dissolution of her marriage would mean for her own career on the RHOBH, this was not an insecurity that Kyle shared. because Kyle has built for herself a life that includes a healthy, rewarding relationship with her husband (in which Kyle is not afraid to communicate honestly and directly) and because Kyle likely had little awareness of what Camille's situation was, Kyle had no reason to think that her words would be so misconstrued. psychic powers tell me that if Kyle had known what Camille was going through, she would not have asked whether Kelsey was going to Hawaii. but Kyle did not know, and the fact that she did not know was not her fault.
Kyle was asking very straightforward questions because (unless she is trying to be considerate of others and holding her tongue for their sake) Kyle is an open, honest person who is not overly concerned with acting any particular part (we can revisit this issue with regard to Kyle vs. Kim ... but my psychic powers tell me that revelation of information was a result of extenuating circumstances and that, in general, Kyle does her very best to use discretion). if Kyle were confused, she would ask clarifying questions (and to Kyle - someone who values family above all else and spending quality time with family, Camille's plans would have seemed confusing). if Kyle were interested in something, she would ask to find out more about it. there was nothing wrong with her asking about Camille's plans. the trouble is that Camille's plans were entrenched in meaning that Kyle had no way of knowing. Kyle had no way of knowing that whether Kelsey was going on the vacation was a sore issue for Camille (and part of the reason Kyle would not know that was that Camille was pretending that everything was fine ... because that is what a "good girl" would do (in her mind)). Kyle also had no way of knowing that Camille worried that if she were not married to Kelsey, she would lose her place on the show. no one could know this because Camille tried very hard to prevent them from knowing what her true fears were.
Kyle's only "fault" was that she did not realize that Camille was pretending to have resolved the issue in order to escape the confrontation that was making her uncomfortable. when Kyle told her not to be insecure, Kyle's intentions were to build Camille up - to empower Camille by explaining that she (Kyle) did not think that Camille's worth was only in Kelsey. Camille was worried that others shared her own fear (that her worth was only in her husband), but Kyle was attempting to explain that Camille did not need to have that fear because she (Kyle) did not even think it was true. unfortunately, the fear was so strong for Camille (and the idea of having worth outside of her appearance and her worth to ("important") men was so foreign to her) that Camille could not really comprehend what Kyle was saying. it is too bad that the sensitivities that Camille had developed (for very real reasons - there are very good reasons that Camille has learned that her worth is tied to her appearance and her appeal to "important" men) got in the way of an authentic relationship with Kyle. Kyle is the type of person who could have been very supportive to Camille if Camille had been in a place to receive it. at the time, though, Camille was likely just barely keeping her head above the water - she had not reached a place where she could be completely open and real. but if Camille had learned through her life and through interactions with others that she could trust people, she would not have developed the fears in the first place. instead, Camille learned to view women as competition and learned not to trust others and that she did not inherently have worth ... and it will only be through trusted relationships in which people value Camille for more than just her appearance that she can unlearn the damaging lessons her earlier life had taught her. if Kyle cannot be one of the people who helps Camille learn about authentic relationships, here's hoping someone else will instead ... and hoping Camille will allow herself to be real enough to benefit from it rather than feeling like she has to protect herself and keep acting a part (a part that is the result of unfair demands that have been placed on her throughout her life).
now ... about Kelsey being "important" ... sure, he's been successful and made lots of money ... bully for him. that doesn't give him any more worth than anyone else. and if it weren't for RHOBH, very few people would actually care about him either. Camille, Kyle really did not want you to feel insecure - she was not attacking you or bullying you by calling you insecure as an insult. she was realizing that you felt badly about something that she didn't think you needed to feel badly about. and she didn't want you to feel that way. she did not realize that telling you not to feel insecure would come across as an insult as opposed to her intended meaning. feeling insecure is not something that makes you worthless - it makes you human. and if you can be honest about your insecurities (and your feelings in general), you'll be on a path to developing a sense of security that does not depend on fluctuations in everything around you. if you cannot develop an authentic and honest discussion with yourself (and close others), you will never have a chance to actually put the things that are truly hurting you to bed. it's a better life on the other side ... it takes work to get there ... but it is worth it ...
Kyle versus Camille, part 1
why the fight was not Camille's fault
to understand anyone's thoughts, feelings, or behavior, you have to understand their life history of events. you have to understand how all of their previous interactions with other people have contributed to who they are ... and how who they are completely colors any new experiences they have. so let's start with Camille, shall we? unfortunately her life history was not filmed ... so we are going to need a psychic read between the lines. it goes something like this:
Camille learned from a very young age that she is nothing more than an object in others' lives - she is not the subject of her own life. fortunately (?), she is a pretty girl ... and she learned very well that her looks gave her worth and made her valuable. she learned that to be valuable, a girl should not only be pretty, but should also be submissive. and good girls don't feel anger. the trouble is that the lessons Camille learned are not true. Camille does feel anger, but she doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way. she is too terrified of losing her worth if she were to ever honestly and directly confront the issues that cause her to feel anger. so what happens to all that bottled up anger? well ... let's take a look ...
Kyle attempted to clear up the misunderstanding about whether or not Kelsey was going to Hawaii with Camille. While they are talking, Camille is checked out (watch a clip of the interaction and pay attention to where Camille's eyes are ... they don't indicate that she is present in the discussion with Kyle). Camille is checked out because she is experiencing a high degree of distressed emotion, and has no outlet for it. She is terrified of compromising her value on camera (she desperately NEEDS to come across as sweet because that is what good girls are ... and she doesn't know who she is if she is not the good girl she has been brought up to be ... but communicating any honest or direct emotion at this point would compromise her worth as a person (in her mind)). off camera, my psychic powers tell me, she was conversing with Taylor and lamenting that she didn't think it was fair or nice to call her insecure and that Kyle did question why anyone would be interested in her if Kelsey weren't with her. Taylor perhaps unwittingly fueled the flame ... but Taylor is a topic for a different day. in any case, the end result was that Camille felt attacked because she believed the other women were ganging up on her behind her back and insulting her by calling her insecure.
why isn't the disagreement Camille's fault? psychic powers say that someone really did communicate to her that she had no worth apart from her connection to Kelsey (to which she was desperately clinging via making herself valuable by being submissive and looking good). maybe it was more than one someone who legitimately made her feel this way. the part that is not Camille's fault is that she internalized a lifetime of messages from people around her. everyone does this. we all learn about relationships and our worth to others through relationships with other people. unfortunately, because some people legitimately made her question her own worth, she developed a pattern of interacting with others in which she is really, really sensitive to whether others perceive her value as being tied to her worth to others (e.g., her connection to Kelsey). because real life interactions are ambiguous, people filll in the blanks with what they know from previous experience. so what really happened? there was a discussion between Camille and Kyle that was ambiguous ... and because Camille is continually primed to look for signs that her worth is questionable (because she has been conditioned to feel this way), she filled in the blanks in a way that was not accurate with regard to Kyle's intentions. then, when Kyle attempted to resolve the misunderstanding, Camille was acting (not necessarily for the RHOBH ... even if the cameras were off, Camille probably would have behaved the same way because she likely feels pressure to act in a way that betrays her authentic experience in real life in general ... because she doesn't feel like her authentic experience is acceptable ... or that she is unacceptable because she feels things she thinks she "shouldn't"). Camille was acting until she could separate herself from the situation. when she got away from the direct confrontation, Camille was able to use a more indirect strategy to cope with her emotions - she confided in Taylor instead of directly expressing what she was thinking and feeling to Kyle. why? well, Camille has learned that it is safer to talk behind someone's back because she can avoid direct confrontation that way ...
all this to say, the misunderstanding was not Camille's fault. Camille's lack of emotional/coping resources, likewise, is not her fault. but Camille is now an adult ... so it is her responsibility to pursue self-awareness (or not) and to accept the consequences. what Camille failed to understand was that just because she felt attacked did not mean that Kyle had, in fact, attacked her. perhaps it was too threatening to Camille to admit that she felt insecure about her relationship to Kelsey (which would have been a completely normal thing for anyone in her position to feel given that Kelsey gave her every reason to feel insecure) ... because Camille could not accept the reality that trouble was brewing or because Camille so desperately did not want trouble to be brewing, she misdirected her intense negative emotions. Kyle did not deserve to receive them. Kelsey did. but Camille was brought up to compete with other women - to view women as competitors. Camille was brought up to need men's approval. so instead of directing her emotion to where it belonged, Camille directed it toward a safer target - Kyle. when Camille made Kyle the villain, she was unable to hear what Kyle was really saying. Camille has choices: she can continue to vilify other women or she can begin the painful journey into self-awareness ... and confront the likely painful reasons behind why she developed deep-seated beliefs that it is unacceptable for her to feel or directly express certain emotions and that her worth is determined by her physical appearance (because her physical appearance gives her worth to men).
to understand anyone's thoughts, feelings, or behavior, you have to understand their life history of events. you have to understand how all of their previous interactions with other people have contributed to who they are ... and how who they are completely colors any new experiences they have. so let's start with Camille, shall we? unfortunately her life history was not filmed ... so we are going to need a psychic read between the lines. it goes something like this:
Camille learned from a very young age that she is nothing more than an object in others' lives - she is not the subject of her own life. fortunately (?), she is a pretty girl ... and she learned very well that her looks gave her worth and made her valuable. she learned that to be valuable, a girl should not only be pretty, but should also be submissive. and good girls don't feel anger. the trouble is that the lessons Camille learned are not true. Camille does feel anger, but she doesn't know how to express it in a healthy way. she is too terrified of losing her worth if she were to ever honestly and directly confront the issues that cause her to feel anger. so what happens to all that bottled up anger? well ... let's take a look ...
Kyle attempted to clear up the misunderstanding about whether or not Kelsey was going to Hawaii with Camille. While they are talking, Camille is checked out (watch a clip of the interaction and pay attention to where Camille's eyes are ... they don't indicate that she is present in the discussion with Kyle). Camille is checked out because she is experiencing a high degree of distressed emotion, and has no outlet for it. She is terrified of compromising her value on camera (she desperately NEEDS to come across as sweet because that is what good girls are ... and she doesn't know who she is if she is not the good girl she has been brought up to be ... but communicating any honest or direct emotion at this point would compromise her worth as a person (in her mind)). off camera, my psychic powers tell me, she was conversing with Taylor and lamenting that she didn't think it was fair or nice to call her insecure and that Kyle did question why anyone would be interested in her if Kelsey weren't with her. Taylor perhaps unwittingly fueled the flame ... but Taylor is a topic for a different day. in any case, the end result was that Camille felt attacked because she believed the other women were ganging up on her behind her back and insulting her by calling her insecure.
why isn't the disagreement Camille's fault? psychic powers say that someone really did communicate to her that she had no worth apart from her connection to Kelsey (to which she was desperately clinging via making herself valuable by being submissive and looking good). maybe it was more than one someone who legitimately made her feel this way. the part that is not Camille's fault is that she internalized a lifetime of messages from people around her. everyone does this. we all learn about relationships and our worth to others through relationships with other people. unfortunately, because some people legitimately made her question her own worth, she developed a pattern of interacting with others in which she is really, really sensitive to whether others perceive her value as being tied to her worth to others (e.g., her connection to Kelsey). because real life interactions are ambiguous, people filll in the blanks with what they know from previous experience. so what really happened? there was a discussion between Camille and Kyle that was ambiguous ... and because Camille is continually primed to look for signs that her worth is questionable (because she has been conditioned to feel this way), she filled in the blanks in a way that was not accurate with regard to Kyle's intentions. then, when Kyle attempted to resolve the misunderstanding, Camille was acting (not necessarily for the RHOBH ... even if the cameras were off, Camille probably would have behaved the same way because she likely feels pressure to act in a way that betrays her authentic experience in real life in general ... because she doesn't feel like her authentic experience is acceptable ... or that she is unacceptable because she feels things she thinks she "shouldn't"). Camille was acting until she could separate herself from the situation. when she got away from the direct confrontation, Camille was able to use a more indirect strategy to cope with her emotions - she confided in Taylor instead of directly expressing what she was thinking and feeling to Kyle. why? well, Camille has learned that it is safer to talk behind someone's back because she can avoid direct confrontation that way ...
all this to say, the misunderstanding was not Camille's fault. Camille's lack of emotional/coping resources, likewise, is not her fault. but Camille is now an adult ... so it is her responsibility to pursue self-awareness (or not) and to accept the consequences. what Camille failed to understand was that just because she felt attacked did not mean that Kyle had, in fact, attacked her. perhaps it was too threatening to Camille to admit that she felt insecure about her relationship to Kelsey (which would have been a completely normal thing for anyone in her position to feel given that Kelsey gave her every reason to feel insecure) ... because Camille could not accept the reality that trouble was brewing or because Camille so desperately did not want trouble to be brewing, she misdirected her intense negative emotions. Kyle did not deserve to receive them. Kelsey did. but Camille was brought up to compete with other women - to view women as competitors. Camille was brought up to need men's approval. so instead of directing her emotion to where it belonged, Camille directed it toward a safer target - Kyle. when Camille made Kyle the villain, she was unable to hear what Kyle was really saying. Camille has choices: she can continue to vilify other women or she can begin the painful journey into self-awareness ... and confront the likely painful reasons behind why she developed deep-seated beliefs that it is unacceptable for her to feel or directly express certain emotions and that her worth is determined by her physical appearance (because her physical appearance gives her worth to men).
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