Friday, January 28, 2011

in defense of Kim

Kim comes across as so tragically vulnerable that it is easy to overlook the fact that what she is saying in the midst of conflict is really quite true and accurate.  Kim is obviously flustered in the midst of conflict, and perhaps she lacks the desire and/or confidence to really hammer away at her adversaries, even when what she is saying is true ... so her contributions to understanding what went on during the conflicts have been grossly neglected.

so what happened in vegas?  and how did the fight with Taylor Armstrong fit in?  the sidekick must do a little detective work ... there are definitely some spaces to fill in because either Kim did not fill in all the blanks, or the more extended edition was edited out.

first, let's start with the initial fight between Kyle and Camille.  Kim was present, and Kim knew that Kyle did not ask Camille why anyone would be interested in her without her "big shot" husband. (*this was what i originally wrote and i'm not deleting it because that is cheating ... but see newer entries for revisions)

next, let's explore what happened at the airport.  Kim, Taylor, Kyle, & Kim were walking through the airport.
Kim: so where's Camille?
Taylor: she's in new york already.
Kyle: what do you mean she's in new york already?
Kim: it's not because of the situation with Kyle -
Kyle: i'm confused ... it's not because of me, come on.
Kim: it's because of you.
Lisa: you're being ridiculous.  i think she went to spend time with Kelsey.
Taylor: yes she's missing her hubby.
while Kim said: no, she didn't want to fly with -
Lisa: these bloody shoes are killing me.
Kyle: here we are, 37b.

later, while the ladies are sitting in the terminal waiting to board:
Kim: i just think the whole thing has gotten kind of, like, blown out of proportion.
Taylor: i think Kyle should just bring it up to her and ask her and tell her that's certainly not what i meant if that is how it was interpreted.
sound for Kim and Taylor is then cut, but they appear to be discussing a purse as Kim twirls a purse around and Taylor pokes at it.

Kyle: well, i'm just going to talk to her when we get there. i want to have fun this weekend.  i don't want that hanging over me.
Lisa: yeah ... no, i think she definitely wants to talk to you too.
Kyle: what did she say?
Lisa: well ... she was upset.
Kyle: she was upset?
Lisa: yeah, she was upset.
Kyle: what was she upset about?
Lisa: you know what, it got difficult because i kept saying to her "i didn't hear it, but i know it was meant with good intentions" ... (cut to clip of Camille and Lisa, then back to airport) ... i don't understand any of it.

at this point, Taylor and Kim stop their mini-giggle-fest, and tune into the conversation between Kyle and Lisa.  Kyle then recounts her version of what happened.  then Kyle and Lisa express that they don't understand why Camille would be upset, but Lisa tells Kyle to sort it out so it doesn't affect the weekend, and Kyle says that she will.  cut to interview with Kyle and then to mid-conversation with Kim and Taylor.

Kim: well, i saw it all and then Kyle crying and then Camille like this (Kim crosses her arms) on the plane, so it was like (insert puzzled frowny face)
Taylor: i think she made her feel insignificant without Kelsey.
Kim: she's feeling insecure?
Taylor: yeah ... that's what i'm getting from Kyle and Lisa's conversation with Camille.  but i didn't talk to her about that at all.
cut to clip of Kim expressing some empathy for Camille ... and then back to the airport where Kyle then asserts that obviously Camille is feeling insecure.
Kyle: that is a clean case of projecting.  hello! you're thinking that, not me.
Taylor bursts out laughing.  (though the sidekick is unsure why this would be funny ... at no point does this all come across as an attack of Camille ... it seemed like the ladies were genuinely trying to understand what had happened ... and Kyle seemed to be relieved that she wasn't crazy - Kyle seems like she understands what happened, so maybe she can understand how to resolve the situation with Camille without feeling unduly anxious or guilty when she (Kyle) knew she hadn't meant anything ill in the first place.  why would Taylor burst out laughing?  was Taylor trying to buddy up with these ladies by pretending to be anti-Camille? or did she really think that Camille's insecurity was funny?  either way, not flattering for Taylor).

all the ladies (sans Camille and Adrienne) were chatting about the vegas incident.  Taylor mentioned that Camille felt insignificant, and she was clear that she (Taylor) had deduced that Camille felt insignificant based on what she was hearing.  Taylor volunteered this information - and Taylor made it known that it was her own opinion (interestingly, Camille had actually said she felt invisible - "invisible" is the word Camille used in the interview when discussing the incident - Taylor may have lied about not having talked to Camille about it and then mixed up the exact wording - Taylor said "insignificant" in the airport ... or Camille may have told Taylor that she (Camille) felt invisible during Taylor and Camille's private conversation in NY - in which case, Taylor likely would have been lying about the extent to which pot-stirring was occurring during that conversation).  Kim appeared to be exerting an effort to engage in the conversation (despite whatever issues existed between her and Taylor - which, rumor has it were due to some mutual rubbings the wrong ways when the ladies met).  Kim asked a clarifying question: so she (Camille) feels insecure?  Taylor affirmed.  this is the interaction that Taylor insists was Kim "baiting" her ... but careful inspection suggests there was no baiting:  Kim is the least likely of any of the housewives to bait anyone - her social limitations (e.g., feeling flustered by conflict and having trouble articulating her point of view in the midst of anxiety) are part and parcel to the same limitations that would prevent her from engineering any kind of extensive, catty, passive aggressive scheme against anyone.  everyone has their vices - but this is not one of Kim's vices.

so what happened in new york?  Kyle tried to make up with Camille.  Camille pretended everything was okay even though she was still upset.  Kyle believed her and went downstairs.  Meanwhile, Camille continued the discussion with Taylor behind closed doors.  what happened then?  well, Taylor has tried to pass the conversation off as her (Taylor) having brought up that Kim had talked to her in the airport and she found it odd.  Taylor expressed regretting ever saying anything, that she did not mean to stir anything up, that it was unfortunate that she had used the word "insecure," and somehow this all slipped under the rug.  how is Taylor slipping under the radar here?  could it be that Taylor is a much better actress than we've even known to give her credit for?  somehow she is skating on by with this explanation.  but ... in defense of Kim, let's delve into this a little more, shall we?

Taylor wants to pretend that the private discussion between her and Camille was a change of topic: that they were not still discussing the Kyle vs. Camille fight; rather, they were discussing a completely unrelated topic of Kim talking to Taylor in the airport ... and one thing led to another and they ended up talking about Kim saying that Camille was insecure.  but Taylor knew what she had discussed with Kim (Camille's insecurity).  even if it were true that Taylor did not know that Kyle told Camille not to be insecure, why would Taylor even start a discussion that would likely lead to discussions of anyone thinking that Camille was insecure?  why would Taylor bring that topic up ever, and, in particular, why would she bring it up when Camille was already upset?  my sidekick abilities tell me that what really happened was that Camille, who was not at all pacified by Kyle's genuine attempts to put the misunderstanding to bed, was complaining to Taylor that Kyle called her insecure (because Camille perceived this to be an attack ... see Kyle vs. Camille posts below).  Taylor then filled Camille in on the discussion the ladies had had about Camille feeling insecure (but Taylor must have conveniently left out her own contributions to the discussion - and notably, the fact that it was Taylor who had concluded and asserted to everyone else that Camille felt insignificant ... or perhaps even blamed her own thoughts on Kim ... given that Taylor admitted the discussion was about Kim and given that Taylor had issues with/did not get along with Kim).  my sidekick abilities are telling me that Taylor did something incredibly sneaky.  and both Kim and Lisa were on to this.  despite the fact that Taylor somehow managed to smooth things over with the concerned parties (not including Kim) and somehow slipped under the radar, both Lisa and Kim were astute enough to pick up on what was going on.  Lisa communicated it in a subtle, understated way - almost gently persevering with the question of what happened that night ... and Kim communicated in a more direct, but less eloquent way (we all know Kim gets a little overcome by anxiety in the midst of conflict ... but it is what she is saying, not the difficulty she has saying it, that sheds some light onto what was really going on).  at Taylor's party, Kim simply accused Taylor of stirring the pot.  Taylor out-argued Kim, but that doesn't mean that Kim was not right.  for the reasons stated above, the RH sidekick can't help but agree with Kim - Taylor did stir the pot.  it's possible that Taylor did not mean to stir the pot ... it is possible that Taylor was just trying to cover her own butt regarding the conversation at the airport (that ironically is captured by the cameras, but everyone seems to be overlooking).  it's also possible that Taylor deliberately stirred the pot as an attack against Kim.  my sidekick abilities are a little hazy here.

so ... what happened when they all came back downstairs?  during the reunion, Kim said she didn't like conflict and didn't want to be put on the spot.  she also said she didn't know what Kyle's relationship was with everyone else and was hesitant to say anything because the next thing she would know, they would have made up, but everyone would still be upset with her.  first, let's remember that Kim truly does not enjoy the conflict - even being there at the reunion discussing what had happened was more than enough to induce a little anxiety (and this would be true for lots of people - lots of people find their thoughts getting a little frazzled when they are in the midst of conflict.  some people handle it better than others, but Kim seemed well within the range of normal - she just looked tragic when pitted against others who don't share that particular limitation).  in any case, my sidekick powers are suggesting a way of filling in the blanks of what Kim was saying.  it's straightforward that Kim was afraid to say anything against anyone.  it's also straightforward that Kim felt like her thoughts were scattered and she had trouble coping with being put on the spot.  although Kyle wanted Kim to do something that she (Kyle) perceived to be simple and straightforward (just affirm that Kyle was telling the truth), Kim was flustered.  but Kim did eventually speak up ... Kim said that Taylor had said Camille was insecure.  at first glance, it might have seemed like Kim was just adding fuel to the fire - that she was starting an extraneous fight ... and it seemed like that was what Kyle thought Kim had done.  but sidekick abilities suggest that interpretation glosses over some crucial information.

it's possible that Kim really was trying to have Kyle's back - by suggesting that it was Taylor, not Kyle, who had called Camille insecure (e.g., if Kim did not realize that Kyle had actually told Camille not to be insecure ... or if Kim was trying to suggest that the only reason Kyle thought Camille was feeling insecure was because Taylor said Camille was feeling insignificant).  (as an aside, yes, it is likely that Kyle was annoyed that Kim didn't respond to her the way that she needed her to - especially because it seemed like such a simple thing to do ... but sidekick powers tell me Kyle's real annoyance had to do with the reasons that she perceived Kim to be unable to step in the way she needed her to - but that is a topic for a different post).  in this case, in Kim's mind, she did have Kyle's back.  it wasn't the response Kyle wanted/needed, so Kyle didn't feel like Kim had her back.

so ... during the reunion, Kim called Taylor a chameleon.  why?  for the same reason that Kim told Taylor at her party that Taylor had Kyle faked.  because Kim (just like Lisa) had a pretty darn good idea of what Taylor had actually done to stir the pot ... yet Taylor had not admitted to it (and Kyle didn't seem to mind - or had decided to hold Camille responsible for her own actions, regardless of anything Taylor may have done).  so Taylor could twist the truth here and there to give the appearance of being on everyone's side.  it's the dark side of being a people pleaser ... perhaps Taylor was not proud of what she had done ... or perhaps Taylor is a pathological liar who believes all the half-truths she tells others ... but as long as she wanted to cover her own butt, Kim would be a threat to her.

what was horribly tragic, though, was watching Kim in her characteristically open and vulnerable way, getting ready for the party like a little Cinderella.  she put so much effort into looking nice and she looked beautiful ... and although some people were quite kind to her (like Adrienne), others poked a little fun at her (Lisa, why?) and Taylor caught her completely off guard and attacked her (pretending, of course, that she wasn't).   and yes, Kim was acting a little funny when she got there (probably because she was nervous about being in the situation and used unfortunate strategies to calm the nerves) ... but she was so calmly minding her own business when Taylor approached her.  it really was not the time for that confrontation.  why did Taylor do it?  did she want to stir up more conflict?  did she want to be sure to get the resolution on camera (and this was the list filmed event)?  did Taylor think this was the last opportunity she would have?  the sidekick needs to re-watch an episode or two to get more informative vibes.

1 comment:

  1. i still stand by most of this ... but it may be an overly generous opinion of Kyle.