why the fight was not Kyle's fault
although everyone has issues that might make them feel insecure from time to time, whatever insecurities Kyle might have are not the same insecurities that Camille had developed with regard to her relationship to her husband. as described in part 1, Camille (most likely legitimately) developed some major hangups with regard to Kelsey. Camille likely sensed that things were going downhill in her marriage, and she feared what that would mean in all domains of her life. if Camille was extra sensitive to what the dissolution of her marriage would mean for her own career on the RHOBH, this was not an insecurity that Kyle shared. because Kyle has built for herself a life that includes a healthy, rewarding relationship with her husband (in which Kyle is not afraid to communicate honestly and directly) and because Kyle likely had little awareness of what Camille's situation was, Kyle had no reason to think that her words would be so misconstrued. psychic powers tell me that if Kyle had known what Camille was going through, she would not have asked whether Kelsey was going to Hawaii. but Kyle did not know, and the fact that she did not know was not her fault.
Kyle was asking very straightforward questions because (unless she is trying to be considerate of others and holding her tongue for their sake) Kyle is an open, honest person who is not overly concerned with acting any particular part (we can revisit this issue with regard to Kyle vs. Kim ... but my psychic powers tell me that revelation of information was a result of extenuating circumstances and that, in general, Kyle does her very best to use discretion). if Kyle were confused, she would ask clarifying questions (and to Kyle - someone who values family above all else and spending quality time with family, Camille's plans would have seemed confusing). if Kyle were interested in something, she would ask to find out more about it. there was nothing wrong with her asking about Camille's plans. the trouble is that Camille's plans were entrenched in meaning that Kyle had no way of knowing. Kyle had no way of knowing that whether Kelsey was going on the vacation was a sore issue for Camille (and part of the reason Kyle would not know that was that Camille was pretending that everything was fine ... because that is what a "good girl" would do (in her mind)). Kyle also had no way of knowing that Camille worried that if she were not married to Kelsey, she would lose her place on the show. no one could know this because Camille tried very hard to prevent them from knowing what her true fears were.
Kyle's only "fault" was that she did not realize that Camille was pretending to have resolved the issue in order to escape the confrontation that was making her uncomfortable. when Kyle told her not to be insecure, Kyle's intentions were to build Camille up - to empower Camille by explaining that she (Kyle) did not think that Camille's worth was only in Kelsey. Camille was worried that others shared her own fear (that her worth was only in her husband), but Kyle was attempting to explain that Camille did not need to have that fear because she (Kyle) did not even think it was true. unfortunately, the fear was so strong for Camille (and the idea of having worth outside of her appearance and her worth to ("important") men was so foreign to her) that Camille could not really comprehend what Kyle was saying. it is too bad that the sensitivities that Camille had developed (for very real reasons - there are very good reasons that Camille has learned that her worth is tied to her appearance and her appeal to "important" men) got in the way of an authentic relationship with Kyle. Kyle is the type of person who could have been very supportive to Camille if Camille had been in a place to receive it. at the time, though, Camille was likely just barely keeping her head above the water - she had not reached a place where she could be completely open and real. but if Camille had learned through her life and through interactions with others that she could trust people, she would not have developed the fears in the first place. instead, Camille learned to view women as competition and learned not to trust others and that she did not inherently have worth ... and it will only be through trusted relationships in which people value Camille for more than just her appearance that she can unlearn the damaging lessons her earlier life had taught her. if Kyle cannot be one of the people who helps Camille learn about authentic relationships, here's hoping someone else will instead ... and hoping Camille will allow herself to be real enough to benefit from it rather than feeling like she has to protect herself and keep acting a part (a part that is the result of unfair demands that have been placed on her throughout her life).
now ... about Kelsey being "important" ... sure, he's been successful and made lots of money ... bully for him. that doesn't give him any more worth than anyone else. and if it weren't for RHOBH, very few people would actually care about him either. Camille, Kyle really did not want you to feel insecure - she was not attacking you or bullying you by calling you insecure as an insult. she was realizing that you felt badly about something that she didn't think you needed to feel badly about. and she didn't want you to feel that way. she did not realize that telling you not to feel insecure would come across as an insult as opposed to her intended meaning. feeling insecure is not something that makes you worthless - it makes you human. and if you can be honest about your insecurities (and your feelings in general), you'll be on a path to developing a sense of security that does not depend on fluctuations in everything around you. if you cannot develop an authentic and honest discussion with yourself (and close others), you will never have a chance to actually put the things that are truly hurting you to bed. it's a better life on the other side ... it takes work to get there ... but it is worth it ...
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