Thursday, February 17, 2011

bravo's Miss Psychotic Pageant

it's that time of the year again - the annual bravo Miss Psychotic Pageant is upon us.  so today i would like to introduce you to the first two contestants.

our first contestant is a sharp-tongued "medium" hailing from Arizona, whose signature look is a white knit cardigan.  her talent involves rapidly making vulgar gestures with her hands.  in her spare time, she enjoys talking to dead people, collecting rubies and diamonds in garbage bins, and watching carnivores (honey, did you mean cannibals?) kill each other to feed their young. she is very active in the Rent-A-Psychotic (oops ... i mean psychic) charity, whose employees regularly provide free "readings" at lavish dinner parties in the LA area. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome: Allison DuBois.

our second contestant is a happy-go-lucky New Yorker with a real love for metaphors.  her talent is rainbows, and in her spare time, this contestant enjoys ingesting mind-altering substances, from excessive sugar to a mystery substance that makes her smell like cat pee.  she also enjoys pursuing the ever elusive mental breakthrough and making lemonade.  her charity is the Parentification Society, an organization that teaches basic life skills to young children with ineffective parents (e.g., pancake making).  we look forward to the evening wear competition, where we are sure to see this contestant sporting a satchel of gold.  please put your hands together for Kelly Killoren Bensimon.

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